The Mother I Want To Be

Friday, February 20, 2015

I've been somewhat binge-watching Gilmore Girls lately and it has me thinking about the relationship I have with my own little girl. It's hard for me to imagine little e being older than she is today, but I'm learning to accept that aging and change is inevitable. 

Before little e was born, my husband and I talked a lot about the kind of parents we wanted to be. Of course it's easy to sit back and chat about what you will and won't do as a parent before you actually become one. I think we both learned that lesson really fast. 

I'm not the perfect mother. I'm not good at balancing the millions of things that need to be done, hence the little messes everywhere. I'm often selfish. I suck at meal planning. Some days I can barely get us ready to just leave the house. Let's just say, I've spent a lot of time bemoaning the areas where I am weak. 

It's easy to focus on all of your weaknesses when you're spending some much time viewing perfect snapshots of everyone else's life. Today I want to focus on my strengths to share with you the mother I know I can be. 

The Mother I Want to Be

I want to be the mother who instills a deep love of learning. I want my children to know how important it is to question everything. I want them to always think for themselves and to gather all of the facts prior to making a decision. 

I want to be the mother who tries to make everything an adventure. I want my kids to see each day as a new opportunity that can be whatever they make it. 

I want to be the mother who teaches her children that respect is not something to give freely, that it is something to be earned. That's not to say that I want my children to be rude.  I want my children to understand that there are people in this world who abuse the authority they have. I want them to have the courage to stand up for themselves and others. 

I want to be the mother who listens without judgment and can offer a hug or advice when needed. 

I want to be the mother who teaches her children the value of hard work. 

I want to be the mother who is actually liked by her kids. I want my kids to want to spend time with me the way that I enjoy spending time with my own mother. I want my kids to think it's weird that other kids don't want to hang out with their parents.

I want to be the mother who makes a big fuss over birthdays and good grades. I want to celebrate my kids and focus on the things they are doing well. 

I want to be the mother who is present. This is the area I really want to work on right now. I'm realizing that I spend too much time being plugged in. I definitely don't want my little one's early memories to be of me glued to a screen! 

What kind of parent / person do you want to be? 

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  1. I've often thought about this. I'm not a mother (one day perhaps) and I think about the lessons I want to teach my child and give him/her the most adventurous life ever.

  2. This is likely one of my favorite posts of yours. I want to be present as well and I'm setting a new goal this month to help me with that.Listening without judgement is great sounding to me in theory but it's not who I am. I've been talking with my husband about this actually lately. I want her to talk to me freely and comfortably but I also want to always be sure she knows where I stand. It's a tough balance because I tend to act like bad choices are the end of the world. I really look forward to seeing my relationship with my daughter evolve, though. I just love this post.

  3. Aww, this is really awesome! I definitely spend a lot of time hanging out with my parents... I hope my children want to hang out with me too when they're older. :)

  4. I love this! I actually wrote post about the 4 most important things I want to teach my children:

  5. My husband and I talk about this a lot, and I always end it with 'but who knows, it may be completely different' because we really don't know until we have a kid! that being said, i love all of the things you said - i want my kids to like me, i want them to love reading, and i want them to travel! i want them to realise the bubble that they will grow up in is only a teeny tiny city and there is so much out there for them to see. and i want them to have manners - i've seen so many children in the last couple of years that i want to smack because they don't say please and thank you. so rude! here's hoping.

  6. I don't have kids yet, but when I do I want them to like me! I'm worried that, because I'm already in my 30s, my kids will inevitably see me as some old woman who they can never have anything in common with. Part of the reason I get on with my own parents is because they were young when I was born, so I feel like I can actually relate to them as people, whereas all my friends parents were just "old".