The Dreaded DTR - Felicity Edition

Monday, June 18, 2012

A lot sure can happen between Halloween and New Years. Tides can shift causing two people to come together in a way that may have otherwise seemed impossible. For Felicity that shifting tide  began to swell over a game of Bunko only to crash along the shore months later in the men's bathroom. All of a sudden the unattainable became readily accessible and that, my friends, can be a lot for one girl to handle.

These past six episodes have been full of DTR (determine the relationship) conversations. It certainly brings back memories. A DTR conversation can be one of the best or worst conversations of your life and they occur multiple times throughout your relationship. There are two times where a DTR can be really awkward and uncomfortable: The very beginning when you are still trying to really get to know one another and then the DTR where one of you has decided it's time to move on and see other people.

My best DTR was a few relationships back. The boy was afraid that he wouldn't be able to vocalize exactly what he was thinking without stumbling and/or making it awkward, so he wrote it all down. At that time all I wanted was to be with someone creative. Someone who could write me a sonnet or a love note or something, so I was all about that note. Nowadays, I see that if he didn't even have the chutzpah to converse with me or even vocalize anything about our relationship then clearly it wasn't going to last. I later discovered that he was incredibly passive-aggressive. I'm usually the opposite. Life is short so why beat around the bush?

My worst DTR was also awhile ago. I approached the situation like Felicity seems to approach life, awkwardly and unsure. Instead of telling this boy how I felt and explaining to him what I wanted I asked him what we were doing, thereby giving him the entire control of the situation. Ugh. Awful. Turns out we weren't doing anything and he was doing everything. . . too much?

The one thing I have learned throughout several DTRs is that you have to be sure of three things; how you feel, what you want and that you will be able to accept whatever the outcome may be. Then you have to vocalize your wants and feelings and be okay with being vulnerable for just a moment. It's excruciating but that too will pass.

I am incredibly happy that, hopefully, the awkward DTRs in my life have passed. Just thinking about going through one of those again makes me cringe. Good luck my friends.

XO Emma

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  1. Love Felicity! Although I only watched the first season. It's hard to watch shows about people being pre-med. I feel guilty for not studying when I'm watching them cram in the show, lol :) I here ya about the DTRs. That's the most awkward time.

  2. Hahaha I feel like it's hard to watch anyone doing something productive on tv! It makes me realize just how not productive I am being sitting there watching them!

  3. OH I kind of want to steal your list from below of your different types of books to read! I have to say that glass castle is one of my favorites so you've got a smart friend that recommended that one to you! Just found your blog and I've loved getting to know you better- you're adorable and I'm excited to follow along!

    new follower :)

    1. Bonnie,

      Please DO steal that list It will be nice to know someone else who is doing it too! I've heard such great tings about Glass Castle and multiple friends keep mentioning it, so I'm really looking forward to picking it up! I'm a little nervous though because it seems sort of depressing and it's not that I can't handle that it's just not my favorite, if that makes sense. What did you think?

      You are so sweet! Thank you for the follow! I will be sure to check out your blog tonight :)